October 2016 | Megan Marie

It's the little things in life that you have got to love - they get overlooked most of the time but they really are great sometimes.
I don't currently want to think about the fact that I don't have a job right now, even though I really need one and I have been trying so hard to get myself one. So, instead I'm going to take a quick break and focus on some of the little things,that I usually overlook, for a moment and share them with you all also.

1. Having a clean room - I don't know about you guys but when my room is actually clean I feel a sense of calm. I'm not so stressed when my room is clean because I don't have to look at or think about the mess.

2. Getting Into Bed After A Long Day - Have you ever had a very long and stressful day at work or school where you are just so exhausted and then the minute you get home and climb into bed it's just pure bliss? I love it.

3. Having My DVD's Organised By Colour/ In My Own Little Way - I know it sounds weird and you are probably thinking I'm a crazy person right now but honestly I love to have my DVD's organised in a certain way and then when I look at them in that order it just makes me so happy! Anyone else feel this way or is it just me?

4. Finding Money You Didn't Know You Had - I've quite often reached into my pocket or bag and find money that I had previously put in there and then had just forgotten about the fact I put it there so when I find it it makes my day just that little bit better.

5.Spending Time With Your Pets - I have a 4 year old Border Collie and when I see him (he lives at my dads house) I sit on the floor and just spend time with him, cuddling him, playing with him etc. To seem him so energetic and happy lights me up - when my depression was really bad just spending time with him helped me so much!

6.Taking Time To Help Someone - I actually did this last night and afterward I felt a sense of self worth because I knew I had helped someone that was struggling, they depended on me and actually wanted my help which made me feel so nice inside.

7.Waking Up 1 Minute Before Your Alarm- I love waking up 1 minute before my alarm because it means my body can gradually wake itself up rather than being jolted awake by alarm which actually feels horrible sometimes. It's actually as if your sleep has been cut short where as if your body wakes its self up 1 minute before the sleep wasn't cut short it just came to and end if that makes sense?

8.Getting To The Bus Stop And The Bus Arrives Within Seconds- If you're anything like me you hate waiting (its bad I know) so if I get to the bus stop and the bus arrives straight after it feels amazing because I didn't have to wait I can just go to my destination.

9. Hearing Your Favourite Song In The Store - I could be having a bad day but if I go into a store and they start playing my favourite song I actually start to feel like my mood has been lifted for a couple minutes - and sometimes it can change my mood and then my mood stays that way, that feels great!

What are some of the little things in life that you love?

All the best,
- Megan xo

About a week ago I was in town looking in the sport shop for some new trainers since the ones I usually wear were completely wrecked therefore it was time I invested in some new ones. After I found some trainers I wanted I proceeded to look around at the rest of the shop to see what clothing they had and if I would like any of it which I did so I went to look at the sizes to see if they stocked my size so that I could buy it and to my shock this shop only stocked up to a size 16.

Okay size 12/14/16 may be the average size of people now a days but I don't fit into that size and there are also a lot more people that also don't fit into that size.
Of course I'm used to most shops not stocking my size, it happens to me all the time but I really couldn't believe it when a SPORTS shop only went up to a size 16. Have they not thought that it's going to be mostly bigger people wanting to lose weight (like me) who are in interested in getting some sporting gear (also like me)? Obviously, they aren't the only ones that won't to lose weight, keep fit, do sports and all of that - there are smaller people that like to work out too so they have to keep that in mind also but there is this huge thing going around at the moment about "so many people are overweight now a days" so surely they should stock bigger clothing sizes that the people they class as overweight can have something to wear to work out in because I don't know about you but I don't fancy working out in my jeans thank you very much!

This post is just about once specific store that I saw this in so there may be some sports stores that do stock bigger sizes but to be honest I'm yet to find one that does.

Please bare in mind that this post is not meant to be offensive to anyone no matter what size they are I'm just expressing my opinion on the fact that there are no work out clothes available for me to wear when trying to lose weight as I myself am overweight and would like to change that. Although like I said I know that people of a smaller size also like to work out so I understand why there are smaller sizes, I just think bigger sizes should be added onto that range as well.

Let me know what you think about this topic in the comments below.

All the best

Megan

Today is World Mental Health Day, a day where everyone comes together to raise awareness for Mental Health.
There is such a stigma when it comes to this topic, so many people are told to "get over it" and that they are "overreacting" and they should "just snap out of it" and "stop attention seeking" but what these people who said those horrible things don't realise is that it's not possible to "just snap out of it" if it was do you really think they would still be struggling? Do you really think they want to go through this? The answer to that is no. No they don't want to go through this so if we could 'snap out of it' trust me we would. The words you say can really affect someone who struggles with Mental Illness, how do I know that? Because, I myself struggle with Mental Illness and I get affected by peoples horrible words.

My Story - Depression
It started back in 2012, I was having the worst year of my life...

One of my close Auntie's died in February of that year - she was the first relative I had lost in my life time.
I was being constantly bullied and put down by about 4 different people throughout that year.
The roof on my house started to leak, it was leaking into my room. It wasn't so bad at first but when we got some builders out to fix it after they left the roof got much worse - we later found out that they were cowboy builders, that leak destroyed half of my room, along with loads of memories I had in my cupboard. Books ruined, cd's ruined, dvds ruined and worst of all some of my pictures of my childhood were also ruined.
And then in July of 2012 my parents came to me and told me that they were getting divorced and are no longer going to be together.

(I didn't tell you all of that for you to feel sorry for me or to get sympathy, I told you it all because I wanted to, because I don't mind sharing it and because it is all part of how my depression started which is what I'm telling you the story of)

It got to about November 2012 and everything had just piling up on top of each other, I was only 15 years old at the time and I just couldn't take it anymore. I broke. I cried and cried, I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning to go to school and when I did actually go to school I just cried throughout the whole day. I had no idea why I was crying most of the time, I would just start crying out of no where. No one understand what was wrong me, I didn't even understand what was wrong with me we just all assumed I would be okay after a while, after I had processed what was happening in my life. I didn't even go to a Doctor until much later on...after my anxiety had started.

My Story - Anxiety & Panic Attacks

Fast forward to February 2013, it was a Thursday, I don't know the exact date but I do know that it was on a Thursday. I woke up feeling sick, dizzy and out of it but for some reason I wanted to go to school still although I felt awful. So I got into the car with my mum and she drove me to school, once we got to the carpark of the school I started freaking out really bad, I had no idea what it was but I got so scared and told my mum to drive me home - I felt like this for the entire day. The next day I went back to school, I was okay when I woke up but again once I was in school it went downhill. My legs felt like they weren't a part of my body, my head started spinning and I felt really sick so I went home again. This kept happening for days so I avoided school all together, I was too anxious to go. After a while of feeling this way my mum took me to the doctors to find out what was wrong with me, at the beginning we thought I had a bug but as it went on it was clear that it was more than that. I explained everything that was going on to the doctor, including the months of crying. First he diagnosed me with Depression and then after explaining I couldn't go to school and I would panic if I tried to, he also diagnosed me with Anxiety and Panic Attacks. So I was diagnosed with 3 things that day - Depression, Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

My Story - Living with Depression, Anxiety & Panic Attacks

Even though I had a diagnosis it didn't make me feel any better. As time went on I got worse. I couldn't go to school, I couldn't leave my house at all, I just stayed in my bed, I cried for hours on end, I would have multiple panic attacks in one day, I couldn't sleep and would be awake all night, I kept getting intrusive thoughts, I was a mess. This went on for months! No one knew what to do, friends thought I was lying and left me, I had family members say "you're going to end up getting put away" and they said I was lazy plus a load of other hurtful things as well.

Eventually I managed to get myself back to the doctors office where he prescribed me medication and referred me to a counsellor as well.

I went through many different medication and counsellors and fighting to get myself the help I needed until finally I reached a point where I said screw you, your not helping me, I'm just going to do this myself I'm sick of living this way and something needs to be done about it!

My Story - Finding my own path

After I realised I was getting no where with all the doctors and counsellors and everything else I took matters into my own hands.

I researched all about my mental illnesses to find out as much as I could to make me understand them better, I bought books on Anxiety for additional information and tips on what to do. I started taking small steps at a time - I sat in my garden for 5 minutes, then kept increasing that time, then I walked round the block, then I kept increasing that distance, and I kept doing small things like this until eventually I was able to go to school again. Don't think this happened quickly because it didn't, it took months of fighting to get to that.

I started doing half days at school because full days were far too overwhelming for me but I was happy with half days, it was something at least and it was better than not turning up at all which I was doing previously.

Unfortunately my school took me out of my lessons because they said I had missed too much of school and couldn't be in those lessons anymore so I was put in a room called PSB which stands for Pastoral Support Base which is basically where you would be sent if you misbehaved in class. Although they also thought it was a good idea to put those that were struggling in there too (it wasn't a good idea at all) so that is where I was for my entire last year of secondary school. I was basically teaching myself.

I kept up with my half days for the whole year, I was doing really well with my mental illness when it came to school. Then I graduated secondary school and you know that 6 week summer holiday break we get? Yeah well during that I fell back into the same place of staying in bed all, having panic attacks constantly, not sleeping etc. My Depression, Anxiety and Panic Attacks had taken full control of me again.

My Story - Fighting Again

It took me a long time but I began to fight again, I started taking small steps once again and I changed my doctor to a much better one and finally got the help I needed regarding medication and counselling (this was 2015). Again it took a very long time but I began to feel like myself again which brings us to now - 2016. I am in a much better place than I was, I'm able to go out again, I'm even able to sleep at someone elses house for the night which is something I was never able to do. I found some good friends, got myself a boyfriend and I'm also doing work experience as a teaching assistant whilst searching for a job as a special educational needs teaching assistant. It took me years to get to where I am now, it doesn't happen quick but there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise you. I still struggle now, sometimes daily and then sometimes once a month or so - it keeps changing depending on how I feel and what's happening in my life. I have bad days but they are much further apart than before and good days have been slotted in between them.

The Anxiety, Depression and Panic Attacks are still there, they make an appearance sometimes but now they are a part of me instead of being me. You can get to this stage too, I believe in you! :)

Tips - How I Cope

Distraction - When I feel anxious or I'm having a panic attack I try to distract myself by watching tv, reading a book, talking to someone etc.
Talking - I was constantly talking to my mum during the whole time and I found that talking with her made me feel much better.
Writing - Writing my thoughts down really helps me because it gets them out of my mind and on to paper instead.
Allowing myself to have a bad day - Sometimes allowing yourself to have a bad day can be good. When I used to be really depressed I would say to myself "today I'm going to allow myself to stay in bed and cry or watch films or whatever it is I feel like doing and then tomorrow I'm going to get up and carry on with life.

I have so many more tips but these are just a few for now and maybe one day I will do a whole blog post full of tips I have for those suffering from Mental Illness.

I've never explained my story in full before so I hope this helps some of you out there and I hope this post goes down well with everyone. Like I said higher up in this post I haven't told you all of this for you to feel sorry for me or give me sympathy, I just wanted to tell my story and experience with Mental Health.

All the best

Megan

I was in town with my boyfriend yesterday evening looking for a red eyeshadow to use for a Halloween Makeup look I want to do for a series of Halloween looks here on my blog and on my YouTube channel too and of course I couldn't find a red eyeshadow anywhere! I looked everywhere, in every makeup shop and at every brand in those shops and not a single one had a red eyeshadow but whilst I was looking I came across a red blush and I thought to myself its not an eyeshadow but it will have to do so that brings me onto my first new buy...

1. NYX High Definition Blush - Shade: Crimson - Price: £5.50
When I was browsing around Boots this Blush stood out to me. Sure I want it more to use as an eyeshadow but honestly it's so pretty no doubt I will use it as a Blush too. I was really excited when I found this because I don't own any NYX products and I've really wanted to try some so now I have the chance!

Of course I couldn't just buy one makeup product although technically I was only meant to be getting one but I can never resist when I have money and I'm around makeup, I just want to buy it all! I made my way to TKmaxx to check out the makeup they had in stock. I discovered they stocked the brand W7 a brand I really like so I searched through the products - there were only limited ones though unfortunately :( However, I did manage to find 3 products which bring me onto my next 2nd, 3rd and 4th buys...

2. W7 Eye Want It - £3.99

I've got to be honest I picked this product up because the packaging reeled me in. Obviously I also really liked the colours but it was the packaging that made me pick up so well done W7 you really know how to get people to be drawn in to your products (I'm more likely to pick up something with nice packaging, any else?) I'm excited to try these eyeshadows.

3. W7 The Fixer Face Spray - £1.99

This is the first ever makeup setting spray I have owned. I'm excited to see how it goes and if I like it or not.

4. W7 Shape Your Face Contour Kit - £5.99

Again this is another first for me, I have never owned a Contour Kit because I was never really into Contouring but I decided I wanted to give it a go and I saw this kit and thought why not?

You may be wondering why all of the products are pictured laying against a shoe? That is because that is where the best light was in my room at the time of taking the photo and I needed to lean them against something and nothing worked except from my boyfriend's shoe...

Let me know what you think of all the new products I bought and if you know a brand that sells a bright red (preferably matte) eyeshadow do tell me because I couldn't find a single one!

All the best

Megan

Autumn had officially arrived and my dark lipsticks were staring me in the face as I sat down to do my makeup for the day one morning and I thought to myself "it's time to begin doing the Autumn make up looks". So I sat down at my desk and pulled out all the makeup items I wanted to use to create this 'Autumn look' and then I had this brilliant idea - why don't I film a Autumn inspired 'Get Ready With Me' for my YouTube channel as I had done 'Get Ready With Me' videos before but never an Autumn version so I dusted off my camera (I hadn't filmed in a couple of months), placed it in front of where I was doing my makeup and pressed record. By the time I finished my makeup I had a whole video filmed ready to edit and put on YouTube which I did but then I thought why not write a blog post to go with this video? So that is exactly what I am doing right now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_xUgnBmneM

*Disclaimer: All the products shown I purchased with my own money, none of it was gifted to me by companies and I was not sponsored to film the video.*

For an Autumn look I like to really go in with makeup so I usually add a few more steps than I would for a normal everyday makeup look. The first one being a primer (I know I should use a primer all the time, shush!) and the primer I have is Benefit's Porefessional.

This product has been in my collection for almost a year now but I hadn't actually started using it until now. I should of used it sooner but to be honest I always forgot to do it...

After only using this product a couple of times I am really pleased with it, the Benefit Porefessional Primer goes onto the skin really nice and does pretty much what it says it will do - minimise pores.

After applying my primer I went on to use my No 7 Stay Perfect Foundation - this product is amazing! For a long time I was searching for a foundation that would match my skin tone and it wasn't until I found No 7's Stay Perfect Foundation that I actually managed to match my skin tone (with the help of one of the lovely ladies on the No 7 Kiosk in Boots who used a colour matcher device on me). My shade is Cool Ivory if you were wondering. I am in love with this foundation, it goes on well, a little goes a long way so if you have this product like me don't use too much otherwise you will end up looking cakey and you don't want that. To apply this foundation I used my trusty Real Techniques Stippling Brush which I have used for a long time to apply makeup with now and that most probably won't change to be honest.

To set it all into place I used my Rimmel Stay Matte Powder which I have been using for the longest time now if you can't tell from the picture I have actually hit pan on the product so I may need to pick up a new one at some point. To apply this powder I used my Real Techniques Powder Brush which again I have been using for a very long time.

Once I finished applying makeup to my face I then moved onto my eyes. For this I used my new eyeshadow palette from Makeup Revolution it is the Flawless Ultra Eyeshadows palette and it is amazing! I love every single shade it has, there isn't a single shade that I don't like.

First I applied the shade Tarnish (2nd Row - Middle Colour) to my eye lid using my Real Techniques Shading Brush. Before moving on to use my Makeup Revolution E103 Brush to blend the colour with so that it didn't look so harsh on my eyes.

After I blended the colour on my eye lid I used my Makeup Revolution Ultra Crease Eyeshadow Brush to apply the shade Red Night (2nd Row - Middle Colour) in the crease of my eye. I then used my Makeup Revolution E103 Brush again to blend the colours together.

Once I had applied the eye shadow I went on to use my Rimmel Wake Me Up Concealer under my eyes to cover up any of the fall down that might of occurred from the eyeshadow although I don't think there was any so I would used it to conceal my under eyes instead. I also used it to conceal some of my spots. To blend this in I used my Real Techniques Foundation Brush - I did have a Concelear Brush from Real Techniques that I would usually use but I have no idea where it has gone.

Next up is eyeliner on the top lid of my eyes using my recent purchase of the Rimmel Glam Eyes Liquid Eyeliner (which I'm loving by the way!)

After applying the eyeliner I then went back to my eyeshadow palette and used the shade Night (The black one in the corner) to apply on top of the eyeliner to hide any mistakes I had made and to much it last longer. To apply this I used my No 7 Eye Contour Brush.

Once I had finished applying the eyeshadow on top of the eyeliner on my top lid I got out my Mac Crayon Kohl eyeliner and applied this to my lower lash line and then again I went back to my eyeshadow palette and applied the black colour over the top of the eyeliner to make it last longer throughout the day.

After the eyeliner I then went on to apply mascara to my lashes using my Benefit Rollerlash mascara fist (which I don't seem to have a picture of) and then over the top of that I used my Rimmel Volume Flash x10 mascara.

The final step of this makeup look is the Lipstick. For this look I used my brand new (and favourite) Lipstick from Collection - the Collection Lasting Colour Lipstick and the shade I used is Aubergine Kiss which is a dark purpley red colour.

& that is it! That is my Autumn Edition of a Get Ready With Me. Don't forget to watch the video that goes alongside this blog post to see me actually applying the products (video linked above!)

All the best

-Megan

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